![]() Negativityįrom a neurological standpoint, people with anxiety tend to experience negative thoughts at a much greater intensity than they do positive ones. They will have also spent time and energy on avoiding it in the process, making it the source of greater anxiety in the end. If schoolwork is the source of a kid’s anxiety, they will go to great lengths to avoid it and in the process end up having to do more to make up for what they missed. Children who are trying to avoid a particular person, place or task often end up experiencing more of whatever it is they are avoiding. The only problem with avoidance is that it often snowballs. If you are avoiding a person that makes you feel uncomfortable, you may skip a party or meeting (not doing). If you are trying to avoid getting sick, you may wash your hands repeatedly throughout the day (doing). These avoidance behaviors happen in two forms - doing and not doing. AdvertisementĪs humans, we have a tendency to avoid things that are stressful or uncomfortable. This is especially troublesome at school where they are expected to pay attention to a teacher for hours at a time. Children with anxiety are often so caught up in their own thoughts that they do not pay attention to what is going on around them. Instead, these two conditions have symptoms that overlap - a lack of focus and inattention being two of them. But studies have shown that children with anxiety don’t necessarily have ADHD more often. In the past research has suggested that ADHD and anxiety often go hand in hand. Lack of FocusĪccording to the Centers for Disease Control, 6.1 million children have been diagnosed with some form of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in the US. After days or even weeks of appearing “normal” on the surface, these children will suddenly reach a point where they cannot hide their anxious feelings anymore and have a disproportionate reaction to something that triggers their anxiety. A child who goes from calm to a full-blown tantrum without a reason is often ill-equipped to talk about their anxiety and tries to hide it instead. In reality, they have pushed hurt and anxiety so deep for so long that a seemingly innocent comment or event suddenly sends them straight through the chandelier. ![]() To borrow a term from renowned social scientist, Brené Brown, chandeliering is when a seemingly calm person suddenly flies off the handle for no reason. Unable to communicate what is really going on, it is easy to interpret the child’s defiance as a lack of discipline instead of an attempt to control a situation where they feel anxious and helpless. For example, a child already experiencing the flood of stress hormones at the prospect of going to bed, lashes out at being given an orange cup instead of a blue one. ![]() As a way of feeling secure and comforted, they seek to take back control, often in unexpected and peculiar ways. There is nothing more frustrating to a child with anxiety than feeling like their life is out of control. going to a party), the fight or anger response is activated as a form of protection. Finally, one of the markers of generalized anxiety is “irritability” which is also part of the anger family. Because anger and anxiety are both activated from the same brain region and have similar physiological patterns (rapid breathing, heart racing, pupils dilating etc.), it’s possible that when your child feels like there is a threat (e.g. This genetic wisdom protects us from threats and danger. When the brain perceives a threat, the amygdala (a small, almond-shaped cluster of neurons in the brain) activates the flight-or-fight response which floods your body with hormones to make you stronger and faster. Anger and anxiety are also both activated in the threat center of your brain. Helplessness leads to frustration which can show up as anger. When our kids are chronically and excessively worried and don’t feel like they have to skills to manage the anxiety, they feel helpless. Anxiety occurs when there is an overestimation of a perceived threat (e.g., a test or a party) and an underestimation of coping skills (e.g.,”I can’t handle this.”). Here are some hypotheses as to why there is a link. The link between anger and anxiety is an under-researched area, but in our work, the manifestation of anger in anxious children is clear. Others have anxiety about falling asleep, thinking they will miss their alarm or be tired in the morning. In many kids, trains of anxious thoughts keep them awake long after they should be asleep. In children, having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep is one of the hallmark characteristics of anxiety. Research has shown that anxiety can lead to sleep disorders and chronic sleep disruption can lead to anxiety. ![]() Difficulty SleepingĪnxiety and sleep problems have a chicken and egg connection. Let’s try to understand why anxiety manifests in these ways by taking a deeper dive into each: 1.
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